baby #2

sorry, i'm finally getting this typed up.....i went in for my meeting/appt with my dr at the end of aug. finally i get to see her. i had seen her picture and i thought "wow, she's young" not as young as the new ob at st. joe's, but she looked like she could be around dr. allred's age. though she did say her child was in college so maybe she's older than i think. anyway, she asked me some questions about my other pregnancy and things. i made yet another mental note to get my and sterling records moved over. did you know what getting mastitis with one pregnancy increases your chances of getting again with the next one. there is a 40% chance i would get it with this baby. increasing with each one. so depending on how many kids i have, i'm pretty much guaranteed to get it. on lovely. kelly, my dr. said that at least i knew what it was a would know when i got it. i said "yeah, it's awful. i don't think i could forget that first time".

she did everything that she needed me to, you know weight, blood pressure-low, pee in a cup etc. then she had we get into the gown. which was an actual gown. not the paper ones i was used to. that was nice. she brought in her heartbeat finder thing. what is that called? anyway, she couldn't find it. well, i'm only 10 weeks 3 days, but she said that she should be able to find it. she then asked if my uterus tilted backwards. yes, it does. that was something that i knew but didn't think to tell her. (i try to remind them, because it makes a pap a little less painful) so she decided to see if she could tilt it up and find it. no, that didn't work.

sterling was doing so good through all of this. he only cried once in the beginning when he couldn't see me for a second. kelly was very understanding and let him do what he wanted. if she was annoyed, she didn't show it. she would open a drawer and he would close it. then she would have to open it again. so he was on the floor walking around most of the time. kelly left to go get her ultrasound machine. it fit in a backpack! that was when he decided that he wanted to be on the table with me.

so she got it all ready and found the baby. looked for a min or two. still no heartbeat. she showed me where it should have been. yep, just a black hole that should have been moving but wasn't. there was the head, arms and legs with a little bump in the middle, which was the cord. so she measured the baby and it was only measuring 9 weeks. well, that would explain the not feeling so sick. kelly, was really kind and understanding. it must have been hard on her too since it was our first time meeting. i mean, who wants to give that kind of news? so she suggested that i get a D and C, sooner rather than later. it was tues, we were planning on going to glacier that weekend. i didn't want to rush it or cancel the trip. during this time my mom emailed her issaquah mom group to see if anyone has had a D and C and what their experience was. i waited and scheduled another ultrasound on tues, the day after labor day, after talking with jenny, kelly's nurse during the rest of the week.

sept 7, i drank the water i was suppose to so that i could have a full bladder. i did not have to do this for any of my ultrasounds with sterling. lucky for me, i didn't have to wait at all. still, no heartbeat. i don't remember much of the rest of the day. we came home and took naps. i think jenny called me back during naptime, which she often does and i don't answer. i'm sleeping. i can call her back. i think i finally got a hold of her on wed and she said that she would get the ultrasound in front of kelly and call me back. she did and scheduled the D and C for friday at 12.30 ish. actually she really didn't know for sure. i had to go in for a medical history appt on thurs at noon. there they would tell me everything i needed to know. nice, 2nd trip to polson this week. the medical history really didn't take that long. it could've been done over the phone since they didn't need to draw any blood.

sept 10, andrew goes to work for a few hours. i take sterling to jason's house to play. he's nervous, i can tell. i think he knows that i'm going to leave him there. i go and pick andrew up from work so that we can make my 3rd trip to polson this week. the appt was for 12.30pm, but i had to be there at 11.30. i also was fasting, which after a couple of hours isn't so bad, as long as you remember before you eat something. i don't think food has looked so tempting. we get there and get checked in. we wait in the waiting room for a little bit before i'm taken the a short stay room where i get into my gown, get an IV, sign papers etc. the nurse, harry who was doing my IV was entertaining, which made up for his cold hands. he did bring me a warm blanket, which didn't look too warm, until he put it on me. it was heated and so nice. he was able to put the IV in my hand, which was nice. he even used some local so that it wasn't painful at all. what a nice man. we decided that a deep sedation would be the way to go. i would be less likely to be sick afterwards and i was all for that. he gave me some meds before going in the room to help calm me.

while we waited for kelly to show up, we watched a movie on tv, flight plan. we had seen it before, when we were dating. we came into it near the end, but it was still nice to watch it. it felt like we were on a date ourselves since we didn't have sterling with us. when andrew mentioned this i told him i could scoot over and he get on the bed with me.....he chose to stay in his seat next to the bed. i couldn't really blame him. the bed really wasn't that big.

kelly came in a talked with us for a few minutes and then they took me into the room. i don't remember much of it. it was hard to focus down the hall on the way because they had taken my glasses off. so i focused on the binder with my name on it that was sitting on my lap. i remember the lights, stretching my arms out and getting a mask with i'm sure oxygen. i remember having an itch on my nose and someone itching it, but they didn't do a good job so i had to itch it myself. then i was out.

i woke up in a recovery place. i wouldn't call it a room at all. i could hear talking and i asked if i could roll over on my side. they said i could. so i did. i just wanted to go back to sleep, but they kept talking. then he wheeled me into a room on the floor and said that they couldn't find andrew, but would look again. i told them i could give them his number if needed. i knew that he was going to go get lunch so i wasn't too worried about him. i just rested until he came in. not too much longer and i could hear some slow footsteps. i opened my eyes and there he was. i knew i was going to be there for a little bit, so we turned on the tv to kill the time. we ended up watching the travel channel as they went around to the different BBQ places in the US and talked about the diffrence between them. you know, sauce or no sauce, dry rub, wood used in the fire etc. i passed everything i had to do before i could leave.

we left and went to the store to my pain meds and a few other things for andrew and then drove home. i slept most of the way. we picked sterling up at his friends house. he had been there for 6 hours! my visiting teachers had made us dinner as well.

so we'll see how this week goes. i wish andrew could stay home more, but someone has to work to pay those medical bills. i'm recovering well and will let everyone know when we are pregnant again. i have an appt with kelly on the 21st, during naptime. why is it always during naptime?

on the postivite side this may give us some more time get on some montana insurance. we'll see, though i hope so.